Living Louder

I can’t please everyone and I’m not going to be fake just to please you. You of all people I shouldn’t have to change for. Too bad it has come to this. Good thing I’ll be someplace that maybe people will accept me for who I am.

I also can’t wait to make ACTUAL friends. I love how the people I’m “close with” don’t even know who I am and think I’m some party ass drunk girl. Just because my sister takes me out ONCE doesn’t mean that all I think about is the next time I’m going to get drunk and have a good time. Actually, that’s the least of my worries. Lately all I’ve had on my mind is family and school related stuff and you of all people should know that.

I’ve been sad for 90% of my life because of the shit i have to go though, stuff people say to me, and how I’m treated by people. It seriously sucks! And the more I get treated like shit by other people the more and more I realize how much I fucking hate the earth. Either that or the earth hates me. Honestly, if I could, I’d live on the moon and start my own damn population there. All I need right now is someone to be there for me no matter how I am and what I do and blahblahblah. I hate waking up in these moods and this is exactly why I am so looking forward to forgetting everything and everyone in Memphis. Basically, its all going to be erased. Like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I’m going to get Memphis washed away from my memory. All of you can be haters because you all know how everyone has fucking been treating me. It’s cool. Every memory will be gone in August. 

i just had to rant so this is why it’s going to be in a read more.